Lily Allen Recalls Her ‘Incredibly Red Flag’ Behavior While Dating Her First Boyfriend

The singer recently split from husband David Harbour after four years of marriage

Lily Allen attends an event on November 06, 2024 in London.

Lily Allen is looking back on some of her own dating “red flags” from her very first relationship.

The “Smile” singer, 39, revealed that her first boyfriend was named Lester, and once they started dating, she had no interest in any sort of bond with anyone else — family included.

“As soon as I got my first boyfriend, Lester, complete transference of intimacy. Not only did I not want to touch or be cuddled or be kissed by anyone in my family, I couldn’t engage in it with them either. It was like, this person is where I’ve put that now,” Allen said on the Feb. 24 episode of her podcast Miss Me?, which she hosts with Miquita Oliver.

She continued, “It’s incredibly like, red flag, codependent behavior that I just put all of my emotional dependency on one person.”

Allen — who recently separated from husband David Harbour after four years of marriage, multiple sources told TH — and Oliver’s topic of conversation for the episode was kissing, and the hosts were asked how they feel about kissing their children.

Lily Allen and daughters Marnie Rose and Ethel attend “Stranger Things” season 4 premiere on May 14, 2022.

The singer, who is mom to daughters Marnie Rose, 12, and Ethel Mary, 13, with ex-husband Sam Cooper, said each daughter has a different preference when it comes to affection.

“One of them, when I say give me a kiss, she just puts her forehead forward for me to kiss her on the forehead,” she said. “And the other one wants full on kisses on the lips. And yeah, I don’t have a problem with either. Whatever they want. Whatever they’re comfortable with.”

Allen revealed on the Feb. 13 episode of her podcast that she’d recently completed a stay at a treatment center amid a time of “emotional turmoil.”

“I just feel very grateful to have been given the time and the space that I needed. I went into a sort of treatment center for a few weeks, which was great,” she said. “I did a lot of group therapy and some individual therapy and I just, I needed some time and space away from everything.”

She went on to say that she was struggling to be “my strongest self” for her two daughters, and though leaving for a few weeks to focus on herself was difficult, she knew she had to do it for them.

Lily Allen and David Harbour in June 2024 in New York City.

Allen added that she never wanted her daughters to feel as though they have to “prop me up,” as none of her struggles are their fault, and it’s her job to make them “feel safe and secure.”

“I just don’t think I was able to do that because of the sort of emotional turmoil that I was in at the time,” she said. “But I do feel like I am now. I‘m not saying I’m 100% there and I’m not saying that I’m getting it 100% right or ever will but I’m definitely in a stronger place.”

A source previously told TH that Allen was “devastated” by the split from Harbour, 49, whom she married in 2020.

On Feb. 23, she shared a post to Instagram reflecting on her recent stay in Los Angeles, and included photos from what appeared to be the inside of a studio. She put out her last album, No Shame, in 2018.

“LA sometimes I really don’t enjoy being inside you but this time was different. Till next time x,” she captioned her post.