Jinger Duggar Vuolo Had ‘Loved Ones’ Who Were ‘Very Unkind’ When Her Book Exposed Her Family’s Church

“It was the best thing that I could have done, to love these people by sharing truth,” says Duggar Vuolo, whose new book ‘People Pleaser’ debuts on Jan. 14

Jinger Duggar Vuolo is pictured.

Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s decision to speak out against wrongdoing hasn’t always be positively received by those around her.

The former Counting On star’s 2023 book, Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear, saw her condemning the teachings of her family’s controversial, ultra-conservative Christian organization, the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), and its minister Bill Gothard. It was important for her to speak out, even though it was hard to do, resulting in her pushing through her tendency to please others by staying silent when it mattered most.

In saying “no” to the beliefs she was taught through her former church, Jinger tells TH she tried “to focus my thoughts on how can I love and serve the people who’ve been so hurt by this teaching,” not caring “what all the critics are going to say.”

“I’m going to just put all that aside and say, no, I want to do what I feel called to do and that’s to speak truth,” she continues. “So let me just put on my blinders and focus on that and share my story, and then whatever the outcome is, I know I’ve done what I’m supposed to do.”

Jinger found “not being consumed by this fear” of speaking out to be “actually was so freeing,” she says.

“Yes, there were critics. Yes, there were people who were saying very harsh things,” she continues. “There were loved ones that would say things that were very unkind. It was not easy. But at the end of the day, I realized it was the best decision. It was the best thing that I could have done, to love these people by sharing truth.”

The Duggar famliy is pictured.

“That was something that was freeing for me because … the more that I’m thinking clearly through the ‘why’ behind I want to speak truth, I need to stand up for the vulnerable,” she adds. “My people-pleasing before would never have allowed me to do that. I would’ve been silent.”

Jinger’s latest book, People Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations, out Jan. 14, sees her opening up about how her struggles with pleasing others was ultimately to her detriment.

“Whenever I first realized I was a people pleaser, I saw elements of it when I was younger in my life,” she admits. “There were many times where I would think, “Oh, man! I hate that I’m so consumed by what everybody thinks about me,’ but I just didn’t know how to get out of that pattern of thinking.”

The cover art for Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s new book People Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations is pictured.

Though she does share how she navigated her people-pleasing issues and reveals the solution to the matter in the book (and spoiler: the answer may surprise you), the 19 Kids and Counting alum knows she’s still a work in progress.

“I think once I got through writing Becoming Free Indeed, I started to see that there was a change in my heart. There was a huge change from that serious craving and desperation,” she says.

“I will say I’m not perfect. I haven’t arrived, I don’t have all the answers, but [I’m] just sharing along my journey and how I’ve seen steps to just be able to think differently,” she adds. “I think it all starts in our thoughts.”

People Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations comes out on Jan. 14 and is available for preorder now, wherever books are sold.